My brother Malcolm and I occasionally agree to coincide on the Members’ balcony for a match featuring Essendon.
Neither of us was signed up at birth, despite the existence of photographic proof that on the day before I was born my mother was sitting in the Southern Stand until stumps, watching Bob Cowper make an eventual 307 against Mike Smith's England. (Playing prep school under-10 cricket, Dad had dropped Cowper who went on to bat all day.)Mum was allegedly somewhat annoyed at being forced to miss the fourth day's play by the inconvenient onset of contractions until she realised it was raining - so much so that play was abandoned. Malcolm’s handicap was that he was born in England, and MCC Members to nominate him were rather thin on the ground. Essendon (my father’s club of choice) had claimed my loyalty in utero when winning the 1965 VFL Grand Final.
Twenty years later, the MCC allowed women to apply for membership and my memory is of cajoling signatures on a nomination form from two of the senior members of the stockbroking firm at which I was working.
Labouring under the handicap of living first in England, then in Tasmania, I reckon the first football match at the `G I attended was while at boarding school, when Carlton seemed to win the Grand Final every year.
In the 1980s, Shield cricket at the `G was not exactly a ground-filling attraction, and I spent many afternoons on the metal benches in front of the “rooms” watching the likes of Dean Jones, Damien Fleming, Warren Ayres, David Emerson, Dav Whatmore, and Merv Hughes.
I remember once being invited to lunch with the then VCA committee and enjoying Bill Lawry’s conversation and insights. The stitches from my quadruple wisdom tooth removal started coming out over lunch in the Members’ Dining Room.
At breaks in play I’d wander round the cavernous spaces, fascinated by the history documented on the walls. I’m pleased the history of the ground, despite much rebuilding and many renovations, is still visible to all visitors to the Members’ Reserve.
We always sit on the balcony outside the Long Room. Malcolm prefers the wing. I bring the sandwiches and sometimes cake, he brings the acerbic commentary.
I arrive unusually early and am able to choose where to sit. After chatting with some of the lovely MCC staff (Michelle and Tony particularly), I’m enjoying the warm-ups out on the ground when a late starter joins the party, in the person of Dad, unable to change flights from Hobart for a now-cancelled Uni Blacks (VAFA) final-round lunch. Wearing a home-knitted black scarf with red stripes, next to Malcolm in his 1980s-vintage club scarf, and myself in a red(dish) scarf, we settle in to support our beloved but beleaguered Bombers.
Dad and I have a coffee, Malcolm devours half my Nutella doughnut, Dad enjoys a chocolate bar he bought at the airport without offering us so much as a crumb, and the pre-game build-up continues.
We agree that our club song sounds so much better than Carlton’s, although Dad expresses a surprising partiality for the US Marines’ hymn, also known as the Adelaide club song.
We bicker - more or less gently - over Malcolm’s use of a radio with earphones during play and the presence of a book on my lap in case play gets boring (or too upsetting). Dad is happily chatting with his (other) neighbour.
The first quarter starts badly from our point of view, with Carlton scoring a quick 2.1, but then the Bombers’ Kyle Langford begins the fightback with two goals in three minutes, and with Jayden Laverde’s goal we’re 3.4. The Blues can only score behinds in reply, with the quarter-time score a four-point lead to Essendon.
Langford starts the second quarter with his third goal, and when Joe Daniher scores his own third, we’re 19 in front at half time. Daniher, whose file photo on the big screen bears a disconcerting resemblance to Matthew McConaughey in Dallas Buyers Club, kicks much straighter than usual with 5.2 for the day.
Meanwhile, we’re united in our annoyance at being bombarded with ads on the round-ground running boards, with our deepest disgust aimed at the gambling ones. As all children under 15 have entered the ground for free, there are more even than usual, and gambling ads are simply inappropriate. By the way, Essendon – that video of a fierce cartoon Bomber dropping a ball on the ground looks like it’s laying an egg, not dropping a bomb.
At half time, having eaten my sandwich, as indeed has Malcolm, I repair outside for a nicotine fix, while he joins some friends for a wine in one of the excellent Members' bars. Dad embarks on his sandwiches and banana bread, but declines a hot soup.
We reunite as a trio as Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti scores his third goal for the day, although Dad for one never left his seat. At one stage the Bombers, who beat the Gold Coast Suns two weeks ago but no one else since Melbourne at the `G on April 2, are eight goals clear. With 6.2 for the quarter, the Blues (1.4) are easily outscored, and the Bombers lead by 47 points at three-quarter time.
Brendon Goddard has a great day, as does Zach Merrett – actually Merrett’s outstanding. Top-up player Matt Dea has 27 disposals and 10 marks – we hope we have him next season!
Dad’s neighbour kindly photographs our family trio with the Bombers’ huddle in the background, but the photo credit is to Mr U.N. Known (sorry!). Despite scoring only one major in the final term to the Blues’ four, Carlton’s seven single-pointers allow the Bombers to finish the season on a high.
The atmosphere after the final siren is terrific. We sing the club song at least four times, we cheer the boys, they cheer the supporters, signed balls are handed out everywhere, Woosha and BJ make great speeches, everyone’s hugging everyone else out on the ground, and the Members’ Reserve seems to be a sea of red and black.
We walk down to the Tennis Centre tram station (it’s too big and posh to be a mere stop), and squeeze on to a tram to Flinders Street. Dad and I head to Spencer Street to get him to the Skybus, Malcolm heads out to dinner and the Chantoozies’ 30 year anniversary show.
Our day has been a good one, as footy at the `G goes. We didn’t get to the Library, but we did buy a Footy Record. We didn’t run in to any old mates, but did have pleasant neighbours. We didn’t make the finals, but we did finish with a win.
We’re looking forward to next season, and glad this one's done.
Anna Campbell once wanted Karen Tighe's job at the ABC. She writes (occasionally), speaks French (fluently), reads (voraciously), and regrets that although ballet dancers are fitter, more flexible, and harder-working than footballers and cricketers, they earn significantly less.
Match Summary
ESSENDON 3.4 8.9 14.11 15.13 (103)
CARLTON 2.6 5.8 6.12 10.19 (79)
GOALS
Essendon: Daniher 5, McDonald-Tipungwuti 4, Langford 3, Laverde, McKernan, Dempsey
Carlton: Wright 3, Armfield 2, Kreuzer, Kerridge, Casboult, Docherty, Buckley
BEST
Essendon: Daniher, Merrett, Dea, Langford, McDonald-Tipungwuti, Goddard
Carlton: Simpson, Cripps, Gibbs, Docherty
INJURIES
Essendon: Brown (head), Zaharakis (groin)
Carlton: Nil
Reports: Nil
Umpires: Foot, Hosking, Mitchell
Official crowd: 46,566 at MCG